I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize