my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
