How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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