If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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