I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
