Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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