Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
