Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize