why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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