You're so nebulous sometimes
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
