Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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