I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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