yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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