I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize