weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I love having hate sex.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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