Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm too high and old for this...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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