You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
