I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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