And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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