I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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