Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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