they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
