Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
