and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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