I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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