I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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