Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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