who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
