okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
