doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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