I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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