the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
