OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
