do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
