yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
