Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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