The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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