Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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