I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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