And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
