I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
