Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize