Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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