I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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