Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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