If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
