Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
