Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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