I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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