Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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