and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
