O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
