you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
