she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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