I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
