Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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