guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
