man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
