I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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