she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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