Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
