their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just found a bag of teeth...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
