And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
