So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Found the puke drawer
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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