So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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