I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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