Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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